eyeballs

25 Wedding Photos That Break the Mould


Some wedding photos are not like the others...

Whether it's just you and your significant other in front of a judge at a courtroom or a rowdy crowd of family and friends filling a large reception hall, weddings are festive and exciting events. While many of us prefer to stay simple, elegant, classy, or tasteful, it can't be denied - a lot of wedding photography is so acid-reflux-inducingly boring that the prospect of looking at twenty-five wedding albums might want you to dig your eyeballs out with a cake spoon.

To counteract that instinct, I've collected 25 wedding photos that are worth an extra peek - because they're awesome and inspirational in similar doses!

25. Undead Wedding

Okay, so themed weddings have risen in popularity in the last couple of years as couples seek ways to host unique and creative wedding events. That said, this undead wedding album should be rated PG-13 so we don't scare the kids!

24. Video Game Wedding

Hopefully, this bride knows that there is no restart button or cheat codes to her marriage…

23. In Sickness and In Face-Paint

We aren't sure if this guy is getting married or going on a tribal hunt, but either way, this has to rank as one of the weirdest wedding photos we've found.

screen_shot_2012_01_19_at_082522.jpg22. One Super Wedding

Best man? Superman. Maid of Honor? Superwoman. Yikes.

21. Poor Child

We're all for themed weddings and fun, but this is taking it a little too far. Someone get this kid out of there! Oh, and please someone bring the groom a robe!

20. Hold On, Brother!

Every groom understands exactly what this groom is feeling. Sure, this picture is probably staged, but we're rooting for him to hold on tight…to the rail!

19. Hold On To Your Balloon!

We're wondering if this balloon dress was filled with helium, could the bride fly away? Either way, one wrong move is certain to deflate her wedding day (HA deflate, get it?).

18. That's HUGE

Classic, but still disturbing. Hopefully this picture (nsfw) found it's way out of the wedding album, but we're still glad that it found its way onto to the internet!

17. Is That The Groom?

In sticking with the trend found in #18, this picture has some more adult humor. Another picture that mommy might want to edit before it makes the family album.

16. Camouflage is the Perfect Accessory

We're guessing the wedding registry for this couple can be found at Smith & Wesson. Rumor has it the pastor had to stop the wedding for a brief intermission when the groom spotted a buck. Unfortunately for him, his bride beat him to the shot…

screen_shot_2012_01_19_at_083936.jpg15. Track Star

It is going to be tough to get the men and the women to agree on whether or not this is a good idea, but when a groom actually convinces his bride-to-be to let him wear an Adidas track suit to his wedding…that's just downright amazing.

14. Ghetto Wedding

Where do you get a wedding dress like this? Do you have to get it made or are these actually available? All we know is, she MUST be in love. On the bright side, the groom's graffiti jeans match the bride's graffiti wedding dress very nicely.

13. NC-17 Wedding Album

Certainly we've had some photos that likely will be left out of the family wedding album, but we have no idea what this couple will do…

12. The Old Will Be Made New

Or at least we hope so. Yikes. We're not judging where people find love, but she could be his grandma!

11. When Ya Gotta Go...

Alright, so there are a number of photos to this effect on the internet, but this was the most classy. You get the idea.

10. Supersize Me

Remember the celebrity jeopardy SNL skit when "Burt Reynolds" wore an oversized cowboy hat and then explained why it was funny? This lady should have watched it because this photo is hilarious.

screen_shot_2012_01_19_at_083854.jpg9. Cute Ride

Okay, we'll admit it, this picture is actually kind of cute. Not the way we'd spend the money, but this is definitely clever and unusual.

8. That Cake Looks Gross

Sorry bride and groom, there's nothing you could say to get me to eat that cake.

7. Tell Me How You Really Feel

Wow. To think that one day they will reflect on this photo and remember it as one of the best days of their lives…

6. What A Catch

Hey guys, you missed out on this one, and we're not talking about the turkey!

5. Need A Ride?

Guess this couple was running late to their wedding reception. Good thing this driver was nice enough to give them a ride!

4. Speaking Of Rides, Maybe We Should Get A Different One

Notice the conspicuous license plate number. I think maybe I'll take the train.

3. No Honey, Let Me Cut The Cake

Somehow this picture just seems frightening. We're sure they are madly in love and will be married for years…just don't let him have the knife.

2. Plank Wedding

No unusual photo compilation would be complete with a reference to the unusual fad of "planking." Good luck explaining this one to the kids. And to think, these two probably think their parents are weird!

1. Pillow Bride

Believe it or not, this is not a joke. This guy actually married his 'dakimakura' pillow. This is simply the most unusual wedding photo we could find.

0. Git yer Gun!

After I completed this list, I came across this absolutely astonishing shot... What can I say - it doesn't look like the kind of wedding I'd particularly enjoy attending, but unique, for damn sure...

Okay, so I did say that these photos would be inspirational. I may have lied a little - but at least it illustrates that you don't have to go with the tried-and-tested... Marriage is a beautiful thing, usually, and hey, if you want to be creative, go all out! Just remember, it's a fine line between edgy and creative, and ending up on this list!

What's your most memorable wedding shot? Mine is at the top of this post - show me yours in the comments!

3D - not for me

Me in 3D

Unless you’ve been living beneath a rock – which I really hope you haven’t been because it seems a bit cold and uncomfortable to me – or on a mission to outer space (you got awesome pictures, didn’t you?), you can’t have failed to notice that Disney’s latest offering, Tron: Legacy hits the screens tomorrow. And it’s bouncing in in an awe-inspiring blaze of 3D glory. Or so we’re meant to think, if we subscribe to the hype. If you’re me, it’s more a shrug of indifference because, dammit, I don’t like 3D.

Really. I don’t like 3D.

Yes, I’m probably supposed to be salivating in star-struck wonderment over the fight scenes and pinned to my seat, hair swooshing behind me, by the realism of the chases, but the truth is, I’m not. I’d much rather be watching it in 2D.

I’m not a miserable technophobic grouch, I promise. Here’s why 3D doesn’t rock my world.

Burning eyes and aching head

My first reason is completely, utterly, and totally personal. And it’s the singular most important one why 3D cinematography and I aren’t getting on. It gives me a headache. Sit me in front of a 3D projection wearing those ridiculous glasses and my eyeballs will begin to pulsate. Before long I’ll think that they are about to canon out of the back of my head in a streaming red and orange arc. I do not want to spend 90 minutes like this. Actually, no, I don’t want to spend even ten minutes like this. If this is supposed to constitute entertainment, then please sign me up for something different.

For a while I thought that I might be some freak of nature whose ocular function was somehow deficient. But, no, I’m not. The more that I ask around, the more that people tell me: ‘Oh yeah, 3D makes my head hurt, too.’ Now in my universe, this does not constitute a good business model. Why persist in making films in a format that will actively deter film-goers when a perfectly acceptable alternative is already being used? If you think I’m going to willfully subject myself to migraine-like symptoms and hand-over my hard-earned pennies to do so, all so that I won’t be able to enjoy a film, you’re from Planet Crazy.

Glasses

The perfect hairband

Then we move on to the glasses. Now, I’m not overly fussed by the aesthetics of wearing 3D glasses. First, I live with sunglasses virtually super-glued to my nose; second, in a cinema, it’s dark. Who’s going see you looking like a human version of Brains from Thunderbirds? (And I’ll tell this for free: they make excellent hairbands.) But going to the cinema shouldn’t be an accessory-dependent experience. Seriously guys, in the grand scheme of cinematography, that’s a retrograde step.

When you consider that the Gerry-Anderson-inspired-glasses also contribute to a 30% loss of colour in your average film, it’s even more regressive. No, it’s not a swing instead of a roundabout, or a small loss for a bigger gain. It’s a third of the sharpness of the imagery being sacrificed for a piece of technology that is supposed to immerse you in the world of the film. But hang on a minute, beautiful cinematography that uses creative camera angles and intriguing depth-of-field, sublime colour, and a tight script well acted will also immerse you in the world of the film. You don’t need 3D to do that.

The Great and the Good

The ever-entertaining and frequently-insightful Mark Kermode also points out that 3D isn’t new technology. It is something that has been pushed on cinema-going audiences since the 1950s (and the first patent for a 3D film was around in the 1890s), but has never caught on. Why, I wonder? Maybe because people who watch films are discerning enough to see that 2D films do what they do really, really well. And why is it being pushed again? Kermode reckons it’s an anti-piracy move.

That’s a good argument, but I can’t help thinking it’s a bit like fashion. Some trendy Shoreditch-type was raiding her Mum’s wardrobe and stumbled on a 1980s retro-tastic jumpsuit. She started wearing it in her infinite fashion-forward-wisdom. And yes, where fashion went, we followed, for five minutes. Then we realised that we looked ridiculous and having to get out of one to have a pee was a Herculean feat. So we consigned them to the ‘Never again’ heaps in our wardrobes, for our daughters to dig them out in twenty years’ time and repeat the sorry cycle.

Martin Scorsese, on the other hand, has been waxing lyrical over 3D. ‘Every shot,’ he says, ‘is rethinking cinema.’ His newest film, Hugo Cabret, is due to be released in late 2011 and has embraced 3D technology to the full. Scorsese points out that we live in 3D, so why can’t we watch films in 3D? Well, I’d hazard because film isn’t real life, it’s film, and 3D gives me a headache.

And if Scorsese wants to sell the aesthetics of 3D like this: ‘But it has a beauty to it also. People look like… like moving statues. They move like sculpture, as if sculpture is moving in a way,’ then he really needs to think again. I’d rather watch realistic 2D people than 3D marionettes, thanks.

Back in its box

So often I hear that 3D is really worth it for one or two scenes in a film, that it makes them stand out far beyond the others. But what about the rest of the film? Is it worth it for that? Does 3D really make for the immersive, spectacular experience that film-makers would have us think? The answer for me is a resounding no.

Until they can find a way to make stereoscopy not induce headaches, not require glasses, and not reduce picture sharpness, it’ll have to remain in the dressing up box, until our kids decide to turn it into a fashion statement. For five minutes.